Its been almost 5 plus months since she left, my heart still hurts because she was special, unique and honestly, the one... But it has to be said, people like me never seem to appreciate the good things around and only when i've lost them, do i realise that i took everything for granted...
I don't know can things ever come back or whether i'll have that another chance again because sometimes i think and i know many others also think that i do not deserve another chance. I hurt her alot alot, and even more so when i didn't even manage to do the fundamental things as a boyfriend right, like being possessive, loving her too much till she suffocated and sometimes i just wonder what on earth did she ever saw in me anyway... All i know was to love her alot and sometimes, all she wanted was my honest opinion because that could help her in her life but i didn't do it cause i though i was a saint, and that love can change everything bad to good...
I miss her smell, her beautiful face, her lovely smile, her fabulous taste in fashion, her love for singing, designing and importantly, her love for life... I held her back so much and though now i've grown since being apart from her, i wonder, whether she would ever believe me again to grant me another chance... I loved her alot but i also hurt her alot and no amount of sorry can ever change the fact that i hurt her and when she forgives, it only goes to show how good she really really is...
I can never find someone so in sync with me nor can i ever find someone so special again and if anyone's to blame, it is me, i can only blame myself and no one else... I really dunno what to say at this point because i feel so lost, i really love Xinyi still, very very much and i'm sorry to all her friends that i hurt her and i wun blame you for cursing me... i'll just stay here and wait for her and hopefully she'll come back again and i'll shoulder any burden, guilt or anything bad just to have that one loving day with her again....
If i had known the last time i saw you would be the last time, i would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you moved and everything about you... If i had known the last time we kissed would be the last time, i never would have stopped...
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